Out of all the emotions that I’ve felt in the last three weeks, the one that has become the strongest is rage.
Signed,
A Furious Caucasian ‘Mo
Me, Myself, and the Space Between My Ears
Oh Madonna. I’m kind of addicted to you today.
So, I have a huge post cooking. Long story, lots of drama and such. I’m trying to do this whole “journaling to work out emotions” kind of thing. In the next day or so (probably after class tomorrow), I will sit down and spend a good hour or more jotting down my thoughts for all of you who are willing to read them. Responses will be welcome. This will be an interactive journal, a journey really, with you to help me along. Thanks to all who read and help me along my journey.
(via andrewkletzien)
If You’ve Spent the Last 36 Hours Sleeping on Pain Meds…
Okay Tumblites. I may or may not have promised to update much more frequently a few weeks ago. However, life has thrown an enormous amount of curve balls my way. I’ve been fighting to overthrow what what may or may not be a form of bi-polar disorder through sheer will power. I’ve also had my fiance break off our engagement about an hour before Casie and I got in a rollover car accident (she picked me up so we could talk about the engagement mess). I’ve spent the last 36 or so hours drifting from crying hysterically, to sleeping, to waking up to take a sip of Sprite, to crying again. I emailed all of my professors to let them know I will not be in class this week; I don’t think I could stand the embarrassment of crying in class. I feel incredibly weak right now, but I still don’t want to believe that my relationship is over. Love endures mistakes, right? Love endures harsh words? Love holds on through the bad times in anticipation for more good times, yes? Well, maybe, just maybe, Stephen will come around. That boy means the world to me, and I can’t give up on a love like we have. Fingers crossed. And bring on the pain meds.
For those of you who have watched any gay cinema, you know that there are few films in the genre that rise above the level of sub-par garbage with terrible scripts and even worse actors. However, I’m proud to say that Eyes Wide Open is an excellent example of what gay cinema could and should be. A beautifully woven plot combined with intense religious struggles make this film perhaps my favorite gay themed movie I’ve ever seen. If you decide to watch, make sure you like subtitled films, since this is entirely in Hebrew.
Drinking an Atkins shake I found in the house. Also, watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Soon to begin the body flush with cranberry and grapefruit juices. I will also be reading a lot of Judith Butler this evening.
So, I’ve been off of Tumblr for a long time. But I’m going to attempt to communicate on here regularly. I KNOW you’ve all been missing my immense wit and incredible talent. ;) Anyway, I have lots to report, I just don’t feel like doing such right now. Talk to you soon, Tumblr. Peace
Just registered for the GRE. Oh shiiiiiit!
Sula (New Poem)
She exists
in all of us.
Underneath the surface
of alabaster or ivory,
playing behind the flecks of gold,
digging into the loam.
Longing for escape,
waiting in the corner
of the street,
garnering hate like
children collect leaves.
Leaves make lousy shields.
Always.
Craving permanence,
empty space aching.
Filling never enough.
She exists in all of us,
underneath the surface,
longing for escape.
Always.
